It is thought that around 15-20% of us are Highly Sensitive People and around 5 years ago I learned all about this fascinating topic. In fact, realising how relevant this was to me was a game-changer in my recovery from many years of burnout and eventually Chronic Fatigue.
You may have heard of Elaine Aron’s book “The Highly Sensitive Person”, published in 1999. In the book Dr Aron provides a self-test (also available on her website) to see if high sensitivity resonates with you.
There are 23 questions to answer relating to various ways in which this issue can show up for us and according to Dr Aron, if you score more than 12, you are likely to be highly sensitive. I scored 21. I have known for a long time that I am an empathic person. I tune in easily to other people’s feelings and notice small details that others do not. I’m also very moved by the arts and sensitive to things like strong scents and loud noises. Over the years I have developed various sensitivities to foods and pet hair. After reading this book however, I started to become very aware of the way in which I can easily get overwhelmed and why this was happening. My brain gets over-stimulated quickly when there are lots of things happening or many people coming to me at once and I need quiet time alone to re-set, but for years I had not been aware of this issue. I had ignored the warning signs of feeling drained and continued to multi-task and push myself through work, caring for my children or socialising, without tuning in to what my body was trying to communicate with me. The chronic symptoms such as migraines, back pain and IBS just felt like a nuisance. I was more interested in what I could achieve in my day and getting through my to-do list. Sounds familiar?
Not listening to my body
Over the years I ended up in adrenal exhaustion and then, with further pushing through, I arrived at full blown Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. However, thanks to the Chrysalis Effect online recovery programme, beginning to understand the way I am wired and learning how to adjust my behaviour and lifestyle to honour this sensitivity (instead of feeling frustrated by its apparent limitations) was a large part of my recovery. Alongside this I made changes in other areas of my life too, such as my nutrition and looking at how much energy I spent daily and whom I shared it with.
The science
It is believed that Highly Sensitive People (or HSPs) have a variation of a gene called 5-HTTLPR. This gene is involved in transporting serotonin (which affects our mood) and this variation can mean we have less of it and that we are more sensitive to our surroundings.
Researchers are also looking into other gene variants connected to dopamine, which may explain why HSPs get overwhelmed by loud external stimuli, which others may enjoy. It seems that perhaps we get “rewarded” at a lower level of stimulation and any more is just too much for us.
How to honour your needs as a HSP
Another book I found very helpful was Dr Judith Orloff’s “Thriving As An Empath – 365 Days of Self-Care for Sensitive People”. Dr Orloff provides short, daily reflections on staying in balance as a Highly Sensitive Person or empath. Learning how to notice the signals that my body is sending me, to let me know that I need to change my state or rest for a while, has been crucial in regaining my health. Often for me, as an introvert also, this is around socialising. After all, we can’t always avoid the things we need to do, such as work tasks or caring for our children, but it’s in our free time we have more choice about how to keep our energy levels well-paced and balanced. We might think that after a busy day, relaxing in front of the TV passively is rest time, however those of us who are sensitive to too much visual or auditory stimulation in our brains may find that reading, yoga or a calming bath would be a much better idea to restore ourselves.
Being a HSP may feel restrictive at times, but it also comes with the gifts of being naturally good at understanding and supporting others, appreciating the beauty in things that others may not notice, being creative and intuitive, and the ability to feel things deeply. The latter can be draining at times, so it is imperative that we develop good relational boundaries, as we are much more likely to get exhausted from listening to a friend's woes for hours, or by the demands of work or family, than most people.
Does this sound like you?
If any of this resonates with you, I encourage you to take a look at Elaine Aron’s work and find out for yourself if you too are a Highly Sensitive Person. Understanding what makes us tick and honouring our needs authentically can be a wonderfully healing thing. Please get in touch if you would like to work with me on this issue.